The Contention of the Cat
by motorcity.horror
Summary: One-shot. What's a Machine Gun to do when stuck with a cat he never wanted?


**The Contention of the Cat**

One-shot

**Disclaimer: Not mine, barring the writing. That about covers it.**

**

"Please Alex; this would be a huge favour. It's only for the weekend, I promise."

Alex Shelley stood in the doorway, trying to block entry into his home. In front of him stood a long time friend who at the last moment had found that they would need to leave town for the weekend, and were left without anyone to look after their most prized possession. Not feeling comfortable leaving it with strangers or in the house alone, she had contacted Alex to request that he take care of it.

"You know about my allergies, I couldn't possibly..." Alex trailed off as the cab in his driveway honked its horn impatiently.

"It's nearly time for my flight, I have to go! Just take an antihistamine, you'll be fine! Everything you need is right here" she said, signalling to the steps strewn with bags, "and I'll miss you so much Miss Sparkles!"

This last comment was directed at the cat carrier that had been hastily loaded into Alex's arms. Shelley opened his mouth to protest, but his friend was already disappearing into the cab.

Alex Shelley looked down at the small Tabby cat that was in the carrier, mewling pathetically.

He sneezed.

"I hate cats."

**

He could have almost forgotten the cat was there if he wasn't sneezing so much and his eyes would stop itching. After unceremoniously having the cat forced upon him, Shelley had sighed resolutely and carried the cat and it's bags inside. As soon as he had opened the door of the carrier, the tabby – Miss Sparkles – shot out, ran into the bathroom, and as far as Shelley knew, was still in there. Since he had not heard anything crashing down or breaking, he decided to leave the cat alone. The further away he could be from it, the better.

Sneezing again, Shelley stood, walked into his bathroom – Miss Sparkles shot out, skirting around him like he was toxic – and retrieved the suggested antihistamines from his medicine cabinet. After he had taken them, he moved on to the kitchen, where he deposited far too much cat food into the bowl that had been provided.

Then he settled down to watch TV. After a few minutes, he could hear a crunching sound coming from behind him. When he glanced back, he saw the cat eating. Shrugging, he returned to his TV.

Half an hour later, he started feeling drowsy. He stood up and stumbled into his bedroom, glaring at the cat as he went past.

With a groan, he collapsed on his bed.

**

"His opponent, accompanied to the ring by Miss Sparkles and representing the Motor City Machine Guns, from Detroit, Michigan, Alex Shelley!"

The crowd went wild. He raised his left arm, ready to make his entrance as normal, but he noticed something out of place. He looked to his left, expecting to see Chris Sabin, but instead saw nothing. As he was sure he had heard the announcer say 'accompanied by', he wasn't sure where his tag team partner could be.

It was then that he heard the odd rumbling noise. Looking down, he saw Miss Sparkles sitting on the ramp next to him, purring. The cat turned its head and stared straight into his eyes, and all the while the purring grew louder.

**

Alex Shelley woke up, still hearing the purring. Groaning again, he looked across at the illuminated numbers next to him – 0217. Looking the other way, he saw the cat curled up next to where his head just was, sleeping on the pillow.

Shelley sneezed.

Miss Sparkles' head slowly came up, awakened by the sudden sound. Shelley saw the cat staring, but shut his eyes, trying to get back to sleep.

After a few minutes, he heard the cat moving on the pillow next to him. When it stopped, he sighed and turned over, trying to get comfortable. When he realised that he couldn't get settled, he opened his eyes.

He didn't have time to yell.

The last thing he saw was Miss Sparkles standing over him, holding a pillow. Before he could react, the cat slammed the pillow down on his face. Shelley struggled, but he couldn't breathe. He thrashed against the bed, slamming it against the wall with the force of his movements, but could not dislodge Miss Sparkles.

All the while he could hear the purring.

Shelley finally managed to throw the cat off of him. He heard it hit the wall with a dull thud. Panting, he frantically looked around him. In the act of removing the cat, he had sat up. Knowing that he couldn't see well enough, he leant over to the lamp next to him and switched it on. As he was moving away from the lamp, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Miss Sparkles flew at him, all teeth and claws, tearing at his skin. Alex tried to knock the cat away, but everything he did just made it worse.

Shelley let out a yell and the room was dark.

He looked around the room cautiously. He was sitting up in his bed, the sheets tangled around his legs. The lamp was off, and glancing at the clock he saw that the time read 0217. Looking down next to him, he saw Miss Sparkles, curled up next to where his head just was, sleeping on the pillow.

Shelley sneezed.

Miss Sparkles' head slowly came up, awakened by the sudden sound.

That was enough for Shelley. He jumped out of the bed, backing away from the still purring cat.

**

Chris Sabin was dreaming about My Little Pony. He wasn't sure what was going on, but knew there were bright lights, pretty colours, and as far as dreams went, there were worse to have. It all melted away when he was jolted away by a frantic banging on the front door.

Climbing out of bed and pulling pants on as his walked, he made his way to the origin of the sound.

"Who is it?" He asked, having to yell over the banging.

"It's Shelley you a-a-" he sneezed. "Ass!"

Confused, Sabin opened the door, and before him stood Alex Shelley. An Alex Shelley with a red, running nose and equally red, weeping eyes, but Alex Shelley nonetheless.

"Shelley? What the hell? Do you know what time it is?"

Without explaining, Shelley pushed the cat carrier into the other mans arms, hastily said "You need to take this hell beast. I'll be back for it at the end of the weekend. The little bastard is Miss Sparkles" and turned, almost running back to his car.

Chris Sabin stared after his tag team partner, confused. When a meowing sound came from the carrier, he looked down in shock.

Inside was one of the cutest, smallest Tabby cats that Sabin had ever seen.

"Hey there gorgeous," he cooed, smiling. "I guess you're staying with me this weekend, aren't you?"

**


End file.
